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The Chicken Thing

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Not strictly Thing, nor Chicken, but instead a multicultural fusion dish which is deceptively simple to make, using the ingredients one may have left in the fridge on a Sunday evening before you leave for a holiday. Can be made as a simple snack, or comfort food to calm someone's nerves.


  • Chicken, preferably close to the use-by date.
  • Risotto rice.
  • A boyfriend's loving attention.
  • Mushrooms.


Two people are recommended for this dish.

  1. Begin by clearing out the fridge before one goes on holiday.
  2. Note that chicken will go off.
  3. Add stress of that to considerable stress caused by seeing Grandmother.
  4. Stress out.
  5. Second person will grab the shoulders of the first person to comfort them, and offer to make this dish to utilise chicken.
  6. First person will retreat into room to await food.
  7. Second person will do whatever one does when making a risotto.
  8. The dish will be delivered to the first person to successfully calm them down.
  9. Ad infinitum.

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