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Mean Moms

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Mean Moms

    Someday when my children are old enough to
    Understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
    Tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
    Enough . . . To ask where you were going, with whom,
    And what time you would be home.
    I loved you enough to be silent and let you
   Discover that your new best friend was a creep.
   I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
    While you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
    I loved you enough to let you see anger,
   Disappointment, and tears in my eyes. 
   Children must Learn that their parents aren't perfect.
   I loved you enough to let you assume the
   Responsibility for your actions even when the
   Penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
    But most of all, I loved you enough . . . To say
    NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
    Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
    Glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
    And someday when your children are old enough to
    Understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
    Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the
    Meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids
    Ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was

   Different from what other kids had, too.
    Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all
    Times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
    Had to know who our friends were, and what we were
    Doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
    Would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
    We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
    To break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We
    Had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
    Cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
    And all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
    Awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
    She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
    Whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
    We were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
    Eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
   Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
   When they drove up. They had to come up to the door
   So she could meet them. While everyone else could
   Date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
    Because of our mother we missed out on lots of
  Things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
  Been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
   Property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
   Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
  Honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
    Parents just like Mom was.
 I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
    It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

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